Limbo

So we are officially in limbo. And it sucks. I am 4 days past my transfer. It is too early to test but whatever has happened has happened. There is a good chance I would test positive because I just gave myself my last hcg shot. So because of that, today I get to look forward to feeling light head and a bit nauseous. Yesterday I felt like shit. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t stop thinking about this not working. No reason why, it was just stuck in my head. I mentioned I didn’t feel great to my husband and he said he totally understood. He said he just feels all over the place. Back and forth from this working, to it not and for no reason. It made me feel better to know that I wasn’t the only one who feels like a complete nutter. I was making christmas cookies with my MIL yesterday and exploded sugar all over myself. I started laughing but ended up almost sobbing. I felt completely insane.

For whatever reason, today, I feel more positive. Yesterday my lower back was absolutely killing me. After spending 4 hours making cookies, I was exhausted. So I sat down with a heating pad on my back and tried to doze a bit. EVERY time I fell asleep, my MIL boyfriend would suddenly ask me a stupid question about how my week was or tell me where they went out to eat. After about the third time my husband came over and asked if I wanted to go lay down. On the way home he brought it up and asked what Danny’s problem was, didn’t he see I was sleeping? But anyway, back to my positive mood. No explanation for it. I even had a dream last night where I was sitting in a classroom where my blood test results were up on the projector and they were talking about why it didn’t work. Michael Cain was sitting in front of me and turned around to let me know he knew a doctor that could help. Very bizarre dream. That still couldn’t put the kibosh on my good mood. It is only 8am though. There is a lot of day left. But I am going to make a fire, watch some movies, make a skirt, do some embroidery, and knit. None of those things will hinder my good mood.