Am I being used…

Or did you really need help?

I have a friend who I was friends with before babies. We’d hang out and have a good time but her and her husband were flakey. But we liked them. Even though there was a good 60% chance they were going to cancel on you last minute. 

So fast forward, now there are kids. She has two and I have E. She has a daughter that is a few months younger than my son. Seems perfect, right?  Except for the flakey part. Now the odds are more like 80% that they cancel. Last minute. They are also under the impression that their oldest is demon spawn. He’s not. 

So anyway, I go over there a lot. Leaving the house is difficult for her. It also was when they only had one kid. So I invite her over yesterday. She takes hours to respond. No big deal. But what she tells me is she is having a hard time. She can’t get dressed, she feels like shit. She is overwhelmed. I feel horrible for her. I had extended the invitation to this morning as well in my original offer. She said she would try to get it together today.

I offered her support. And told her I was here for her if she needed to talk. I felt really awful for her. And worried. I had been feeling a little down myself. I have started my lupron injections and all the drugs make me feel a little odd. This pulled me out of my funk. I just felt awful for her.

 So this morning I’m making coffee and relaxing. I’m literally writing a text asking how she is. And can they make it today? As I’m am about to send it she sends a text asking if I want to over. A friend is coming over today and she thought maybe I could join them. Are you f’ing kidding me!? This is really, really frustrating. I have been over to her house probably weekly this month. We live in a big city and I end up driving with traffic everytime so it takes me 45 minutes to get there. She would be driving against it and it would take about 15 minutes to get to me. 

It is very frustrating. I just feel like I’m being used. Last night and yesterday I was really concerned. She didn’t seem like she was coping well. Now I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I am so annoyed! I mean seriously. Where is the give, it is just always take!? 

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4 thoughts on “Am I being used…

  1. I do think it’s so tricky, my husband has a friend who i think uses him, gets in contact when he wants something doing round the house, yet dragged his heals when we needed help, we invite them to our house for a BBQ and they then say it would be easier if we go to them because they have kids so to bring them to ours would be tough. I think it’s so tricky, As you have been friends with your friend for so long is there a way you can talk to them about it? perhaps saying that sometimes you find it tough as you were really looking forward to seeing her but it can feel like it has to be on her terms? (maybe not use the word used? x

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      1. It definitely is tricky.. at the same time if nothing is said then the behaviour may continue. Maybe there is different way to phrase that’s softer or tell her you are struggling… i don’t know it definitely is a tricky one!

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