Ch-ch-ch-changes

So much is happening right now. It is all a bit overwhelming. E turns one this coming Sunday so we are having a party. I have kept it simple because he is turning one and will have no memory of this. We are having a ball pit and a sprinkler to play in. I decided again a pool because that requires a lot of supervision and there are quite a few babies who are younger than Elliott, so sitting up is a big accomplishment. We will grill burgers and sausages and have some beer and juice. Nice and easy. Considering everything else going on right now, I’m glad my biggest stress is making cupcakes.

 

We we are currently getting ready to sell our house. It is ridiculous. We have to clear out our house and stage it. Read – get rid of pretty much everything you own somehow but still live in your house. So mostly I have been making huge messes and then clearing everything out over and over again. You have to pick the appropriate items for staging and then hope that the way you have staged the house is acceptable to the realtor. Usually, she still wants you to get rid of 50% of the stuff you have even after you “cleared” things out. Throw in a toddler who loves to get into everything and it is a good time. We are also getting our house painted which is nice but annoying. I sort of feel trapped. There are just some dudes hanging around outside my house, in my backyard, all over the place. They should be done today. They have been working since Thursday and only took Sunday off. They are doing a great job, I am just sick of trying to time showers to a time when no one could possibly be looking in my bathroom window or bedroom windows.

 

My my mom is coming into town on Thursday for Elliott’s birthday. She will be a big help but I have to boss her around. That sounds harsh, I know. I hate it. She has always been like this. She is so passive and worried about upsetting people that she just sort of tucks herself quietly in a corner, hoping no one will notice her. It is sad but also so frustrating. So if I need help, I have to let her know and be very clear about it. After that, she is a tremendous help and will do whatever you ask. That is a problem in itself. My sister loves to take advantage of this and usually request some sort of shopping trip because my mom will buy her whatever she wants. My mother is not a rich woman and this really bothers me. Conveniently, my sister is out of town, like she has been the last few times my mom comes to town. She always around just enough to get what she wants. She told my mom she had no idea she was coming (bullshit, I told her well over a month ago AND she knows it is E’s 1st bday) and she is so sorry (except not at all). My sister lives 5 blocks away from me. She see my son so little that last time she was over, he cried uncontrollably because she was holding him and he was afraid. He hasn’t done that for months to anyone. She doesn’t know we are moving yet and she is going to freak out. Even though we never see her.

 

I also have have a friend  who is doing DEIVF. She had a miscarriage earlier this year and then switched to my fantastic doc. She got her first beta back at 320 and the next was 1300!  Her scan is any day now. I haven’t bothered her because I know how stressful this all is. I just don’t want to poke my nose in. I am crossing everything and sending her good vibes. I want this so badly for her. She has been through a lot. I’m hoping the new doc and the new plan has worked for her.

 

While I have been hoping for this new life, unfortunately a life was lost. A dear friend of mine lost her ex-boyfriend. They had only been broken up for about a year and had been together for over a decade. He also has a teenage son. My heart is so broken for them. Sadly, he took his own life. His memorial is this week. He was such a kind and gentle man. When I saw her, I just hugged her and told her I loved her.  I didn’t know what else to say or do.

This last week has been an emotional roller coaster. Coming to terms with moving, we have been here 12 years, has been very emotional. A year has passed since my beautiful baby was born, a new life is in the works (I hope), a life was tragically lost and by some crazy coinendence, we may have found a new house before we even list ours. So many emotions and changes. It is a lot to take in all at once.

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