This was a question I was recently asked about my son. To give some context, I am a professional artist and this question was posed to me by another artist. She wanted to know if I was worried about not having time, like before Elliott, to work on my art. This question took me completely off guard. Here I am at an opening, standing with my 3 month old son. A son that took three years, heart ache and pain and tens of thousands of dollars to have. To be fair, she doesn’t know about my struggle but regardless of that, it seemed like a very rude question. This might have been the rudest question I have been asked.
Infertility will be something that I always carry around with me. Comments like that are like a stab in the heart. But it also makes me sad for another reason. No one wants to talk about infertility. It is a dirty little secret. I am certainly guilty of omitting the truth. I am trying to be better about it. I didn’t do anything to make this happen, I am not to blame. None of us are. That bothers me and I am really trying to be more open about it. But it is hard.