Time

Time is something I used to take for granted, more specifically alone time. I am really not alone anymore. And I like that most  if the time but if we are honest, sometimes it sucks. As Elliott gets older, he hit the 3 month mark yesterday, he needs so much more entertainment. It is fun but exhausting. I love watching his personality grow and change as  he becomes more of a person.
In the beginning, he slept all the time. I thought, awesome, I’ll take some piano lessons. I made it a month before they no longer fit in my schedule. To say my priorities have changed would be an understatement. My schedule is something like this – feed, change, play, feed, change, play, with maybe some baby naps, maybe mommy gets a shower before daddy comes home, maybe a little cleaning or cooking happens. I don’t mind this schedule and Elliott is my biggest fan. He coos and  laughs at me all day long. But what this schedule has done is made me impatient with others. When I  do get get to devote time to something else involving others, I expect some level of commitment. Before Elliott I always kept people on task when working in a group and  picked the slack.
This  morning I  found myself writing a very direct e-mail about a gala I had volunteered to help with. To say the ball has  been dropped would be an understatement. So as I type, it occurs to me that I don’t need this shit. It had put me in a terrible mood. Was I  really going to let it ruin my lovely Sunday? Not a chance. So instead of trying to get people back on task, I simply quit. It was a volunteer position and it was stressing me out. I would much rather watch my husband play with Elliott because that is adorable.

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