I feel like my life has become a series of tests. Blood tests, ultrasounds and whatever else is needed. Pee in a cup, take this pill and soon inject this stuff.
I have been setting small goals based on these tests. I think it is the only way I can process this whole journey.
After my surgery, I had my official IVF consults. We had talked about this pretty much from the beginning but now it was official. We talked about my blood work, my age and my ovaries. My blood work has always been stellar. Great AMH, estrogen counts where they are supposed to be, everything where it is supposed to be. My doctor said that this is why she was shocked by the Stage IV endometriosis. She would have expected some sort of hormonal spike, something. I have no pain, which I am so grateful for, regular cycles and regular ovulation. But some how my pelvic cavity is full of this extra tissue. It is a strange feeling when you know your body is working against you.
We talked about my age and health, just turned 31 and am pretty healthy. Then my ovaries, my resting folical count is good, no cysts. Now my doctor tells me because of all of this she wants to use a very low dose of hormones because she is worried about hyper-stimulation syndrome. All I am worried about is my next test. An ultrasound to check blood flow to my uterus and hystrescopy. The syndrome will have to wait. This is my next small goal.
I show up for my Doppler. I am asked serveral times if I have obstained from caffeine for 72 hours. I have and I also have a very full bladder for the Trial Embryo Transfer. My doctor does that first. She is done in less than five minutes. She says it will be a breeze. After a quick trip to the loo, the Doppler begins. Again, it goes very well. No blood flow issues.
Next comes the big one, the scary one. Not because it is supposed to be painful, it is not, but because it could ruin everything. If there are any polyps or issues, I might have to have surgery again. Possibly more serious surgery. We already tried ourselves for a year and now we are reaching six months with ART. I don’t want to delay or have it be delayed any longer.
So I sit in what looks like a dentist chair and wait for the next test. My doctor asked if I was ready. Of course. She pushes a button the chair begins to raise and tilt backwards. I make some joke comparing it to an amusement ride. Everyone chuckles and I feel a little calmer. The test proceeds. The doctor shows me a screen and says I will be able to see everything. It is a little strange to see your insides in real time. The screen shows a strange pink pocket. It looks perfect. My doctor agrees. Not a blemish. She says all it needs now is a baby. Relief washes over me. I clean up and change. I tell my husband on the way home. We are both so happy. He suggests we get sushi for dinner. I agree.
Now we are about up to speed. I started taking a steroid this morning, my first drug out of my huge box of drugs. In my box was over 150 needles. They sent me three times as many as I needed. The sight of all those needles was panic inducing.
Now I am going to go spend time in my garden, relaxing, pulling weeds and picking vegetables.