The beginning

It seems like a good place to start. I was a happy, healthy 30 year old with a lovely husband, a lovely house and a lovely life, gag me, right? Well anyway, life was pretty good. It seemed like a good time to try and start a family. My mom had five kids so I thought,”hey, this will be easy!”

So a year passes and nothing. I was late a few times but nothing ever happened. My best friend, who is a doctor, told me that I should wait at least a year before doing any invasive tests. Her logic was, I am young, I am healthy and sometimes this takes time. It was hard to wait the full year. Every month on pins and needles, hoping for something. Once you decide that you want to be pregnant, all of the sudden everyone is pregnant, everywhere. It is all you can see. And of course, all of a sudden all of your friends are pregnant too. All of them. It sounds stupid and really it is, but it affects you.

Now we are sitting in my doctor’s office. She is talking about all the blood work I will have done and she also wants to have an HSG test done. Dye is injected into your uterus and drains outs your Fallopian tubes while X-rays are being taken. It was nice to have some forward movement. We had sort of felt like we were stuck in limbo. Waiting around and hoping every month. Now we had a series of boxes to tick. We love having boxes to tick. We aren’t control freaks but having a clear path helps your psyche.

So the testing begins. Blood is drawn, appointments are made. I, of course, had to google the HSG. Not very comforting. I found lots of info about how awful it was. It was supposed to be very painful. I was less than thrilled. When I made the appointment, I was told to take 800mg of ibuprofen one hour before. Great, what a good omen. Oh and you get to wear a monstrous maxi pad afterwards because the dye leaks back out.

As I am getting changed into my gown for the test I am breathing deeply and trying to relax. I have been doing this all morning. It seems like it has got to help. Right? I wait around in the dimly lit room for my X-ray tech. His name is Jon or Chris or something. He comes in and starts explaining all of the tools and how the test will go. He also begins to explain the test. He stresses he cannot tell me his opinion on my results. The nurse who is helping him is heavily pregnant. Just a month or two left.

As the test begins, there is some mild cramping but I am quite surprised there is no searing pain that Google had prepared me for. The test goes on, the ticking of the X-ray machine seems strangely comforting, like the ticking of a clock. I can see my pictures come up on the screen. The dye is slowly advancing with every click of the machine. The tech stays true to his word and says nothing in way of a prediction. He only explains what I am looking at. The nurse at this point becomes very chatty. She feels things are looking really positive. Then the tech lets me know he will be pushing the plunger of the syringe a little harder. Here comes the pain. It takes my breathe away. I had let go of any anxiety that this was going to be painful. It had been so easy. I breathe through the pain and it only lasts for maybe 15 seconds before the test is completely done.

I am then left alone to change. I am feeling quietly confident based on the nurses assessment. She has seen tons of these, I am sure she knows what she is talking about.


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